Last week we heard about the woman who murdered her husband with his own cricket bat and a kitchen knife. Monty couldn’t help but wonder which came first? Did she stick him with the blade and then drive his head over the boundary for 4? Or did she knock him down with the bat before going to work with the carving knife? Perhaps she went akimbo and battered him with both at the same time.

Then today we wake up to the news that Tiger Woods took a pasting from his angry other half after having played away with another birdie. And her weapon of choice? His golf club! You can’t help but wonder which one. Perhaps the sand wedge, for taking an extra big flesh divot? Or the driver for maximum power to weight ratio. Did she have a caddie discussing wind speed and optimum swing?