I wake up every morning with one thing in mind. To beat that Deadline score. I have to beat that score. I dream of pixels of all colours and of techno music. It's at the top of my daily to do list. It's been there for 2 weeks now but still not crossed out as "DONE!". I curse my slow reflexes for not avoiding those small pink ones. I am disgusted with my poor execution of tactics during the 3 minute session. I am disappointed at how i cave in to pressure when i am so close to beating it and making history. Something always makes me steer away from my pre-game plan i formed inside my head the previous night. A gate most likely. Yeah, a gate. My oasis in that Sahara desert. That late winning goal in the 90th minute. I just got to go through that gate. With dire consequences....And those black holes..... I can see my demise right through them and that of my controller as i want to throw it up against the wall in frustration.

That is how my life has changed. Frustrated and feeling inadequate. Nothing else matters. Just one thing.

To beat that score.....