I then looked into the control options and was pleasantly surprised that "my" setup was actually available as an alternative. But why was it not the default set up, surely that is the way it was meant to be played. Having had my faith in humanity temporarily restored I quickly switched around the control scheme. I then started up a very basic stage to see by how much I would exceed my previously set personal high score, achieved with the original controls designed by some inferior member of our species.